


Landmines

by mveloc



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:37:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mveloc/pseuds/mveloc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><strong>Post-3x06.</strong> My attempt at repairing/redeeming Cophine in the latter half of the season. Cosima is desperately trying to let go of Delphine, but when the doctor goes missing, she finds herself pulled back in. Thank you to <strong>captaincophine</strong> over on Tumblr for the prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** Sooooo, I was prompted a while back by **captaincophine** to write a Cophine piece based on the St. Vincent song, “Landmines.” I’ve been pretty irritated with this season, with the way Cophine and both of its individual units have been handled, so I decided to write my own take on the latter half of season three and I realized that the song fit perfectly, so this is me filling that prompt. **This pieces takes place post-3x06, so disregard 3x07 and anything that comes after it for the sake of this fic** , which will consist of a few chapters. I hope you all enjoy my attempt at repairing/redeeming Cophine (I’ll admit, there will be some Shaysima, but have faith/patience, friends). As always, let me know what you think and shoutout to **captaincophine** for the great prompt :)

“You know, this is getting a little ridiculous.”

 

The soft, flitting voice wafts through the room, traveling all the way from the bed to her ears. She smiles her usual, toothy grin, looking up from her bag and over to the blonde who is sprawled out in bed, sheets barely covering her lower half.

 

“What is?” she counters, her eyes unwittingly dropping to take in an eyeful.

 

Shay smirks, noticing the drop in the brunette’s gaze. She arches her back slightly, breasts jutting out, playing into the seduction while Cosima giggles, trying to hide the blush that always creeps upon her face every time Shay’s smile grows a little more devious and her eyes begin to gleam with mischief.

 

“You jumping back and forth like this,” she clarifies, gesturing towards Cosima’s bag. “From here to your place to work. It’s a miracle you manage to get anywhere on time.”

 

“I don’t, actually,” she remarks, shaking her head and laughing lightly.

 

She pulls the cardigan from her bag and slips it on for warmth. It’s early, much earlier than she’s used to getting up since her and Shay started dating, but she’s needed at the lab and she figures that she’s neglected her duties long enough. Scott’s a patient guy, but even his patience is beginning to dwindle and he’s one of the few allies she has left. She can’t afford to lose him, too.

 

“You know,” Shay begins, slinking out of her bed. “It’d be a lot easier if you moved in with me.”

 

Before Cosima has time to question her, she feels a pair of arms slip around her waist, holding her from behind. She grins, closing her eyes and basking in the contact. Shay brings her lips to Cosima’s ear, whispering throatily.

 

“You already spend all your time here anyway, when you’re not slaving away in that super secret lab of yours.”

 

It’s true. It’s not like she can really bring Shay around to Felix’s place, especially now that Sarah and Helena are back. Not only is the concept of privacy non-existent with so many people constantly coming and going, but it’s too risky. What if she sees Sarah? Or Helena? How will she explain that she’s just one of many clones, wrapped up in some kind of government conspiracy?

 

“You want me to move in?”

 

Shay shrugs, pressing a kiss to her ear.

 

“Why not?”

 

She’s breezing by Cosima, sauntering into the kitchen. She opens the fridge, fishing for ingredients to make some sort of concoction for the both of them. Cosima is always on the run but Shay is patient, Shay is caring. She makes sure the clone never leaves her home without breakfast or lunch or dinner. It’s part of her nurturing nature. Cosima watches as she works, a mystified smile on her face. How did she get here? How did she manage to find someone like Shay to put up with her crazy life? This isn’t what she asked for, it’s not even what she wanted, but she somehow finds herself unable to separate herself from this tiny illusion, this fragile dream of normalcy that she’s constructed for herself.

 

“No offense, but this place is kinda small for two people and I can take up a lot of room,” she jokes. “You’d get sick of me before long.”

 

Shay turns to face her, a coy expression on her face. The corners of her lips twitch, upturning into a smile as she comes closer and wraps her arms around Cosima’s neck. She finds the brunette’s lips, planting a feather-light kiss that’s meant to tease, only to deepen the kiss a moment later with her tongue. Cosima groans, her hands finding the healer’s hips and squeezing firmly.

 

“I’ll never be sick of you,” Shay husks, nipping at the clone’s lower lip one last time before dipping back into the kitchen to complete her task. 

 

“Think about it?” she calls out from behind her shoulder.

 

Cosima’s left grinning like a lovesick teenager, tugging on the sleeve of her cardigan. She nods eagerly, her eyes dropping to her feet while she tries to compose herself. 

 

“Yeah. Okay,” she mutters.

 

It would be so easy. Hell, it would make so much sense. Shay’s right, after all; she spends more time here than she does anywhere else. She used to seek refuge in her lab, but there are too many memories of sickness, too many memories of _her_. She can’t look at that couch without drifting back to their love professions. She can’t bring herself back to the science without being plagued by images of perfect curls, an airy French accent. The infestation is total, far too complete for her liking. This apartment is the only place she has now, the only walls that _her_ ghost can’t seem to permeate.

 

So why is she so hesitant?

 

 

\+ + + + + + + + +

 

 

She should be doing cartwheels through the lab. She should be jumping for joy, screaming at the top of her lungs and beaming like her own, private sun. All of these would be appropriate reactions, but instead she simply nods, her heart hammering in her chest.

 

“Cosima... this is... this is...”

 

Scott’s just as lost as she is.

 

“Yeah. I know,” she mumbles, her eyes fixed on the screen.

 

It doesn’t make any sense, and yet, what part of this does? The numbers are great. Better than they’ve been in a long while and improving still. She doesn’t know how or why, but she knows better then to question it in the moment. That’s Scott’s job. As much as she hates to admit it, that’s _her_ job. 

 

“We’ll obviously have to keep running tests,” he tells her. “But... I mean... it looks like you’re somehow beating this thing. Or putting up a fair fight at the very least.”

 

She feels better than she has in a long time. Maybe it’s the regular sex and the lighthearted nature of her new relationship, but she’s had an easier time breathing since _she_ came knocking on the door to Felix’s loft to break things off. Her breathing’s been easier, her smile’s been lighter, and yet there’s still a heaviness to her posture, an anchor in her chest that’s been keeping her from truly floating away.

 

“I know this is a taboo subject, but you should probably--”

 

“I know.”

 

Because she does. 

 

She doesn’t want to know, but it all comes back to that damn anchor. She begins printing the results onto a few sheets of people, watching as the printer marks the blank pages with ink, mesmerized by the action. This is her best form of revenge. _Look at how well I’m doing without you. Look at how I’m flourishing. I don’t need you at all._ She can’t bring herself to say it, but maybe these numbers will. Maybe then they’ll both believe that they no longer truly need each other.

 

She gathers the results into a folder and exits the lab, heading for _her_ office. Even though it’s _her’s_ now, it still smells of Leekie, still bares Rachel’s reflection in all of its smooth surfaces. Even though it’s _her’s_ now, she can’t bring herself to see _her_ in it. She remembers skipping through those doors, laughing and teasing. She remembers rifling through that fridge, both trying their best to be stealthy and failing miserably. 

 

It had all been so light then. 

 

She had been so foolish.

 

She freezes when she reaches the door, spying an unmistakably male figure on the other side of the glass. Nealon is occupied with his laptop, but it only takes him a moment to notice her. He looks up from his work and gestures for her to enter. She does so with uncertain legs, losing whatever wind had carried her sails all the way up here.

 

“I’m glad you’re here. There’s something we need to discuss,” he tells her.

 

He notices the file in her hand and she clutches it a little tighter to her chest.

 

“Are those your most recent numbers?”

 

She nods. He extends a hand, waiting for her to pass them his way. She silently refuses him.

 

“Where’s Delphine?”

 

“That’s... what I wanted to discuss.”

 

He gestures for her to sit and she does so reluctantly, the anchor in her chest growing considerably in size, nearly burying her in the ground. As bitter as she is, she’ll take _her_ over this megalomaniac any day. 

 

“Doctor Cormier is no longer with us,” he says briskly.

 

She blinks, his words like a sharp, sobering slap to the face.

 

“What?”

 

“She’ll no longer be working with you. With Leda, actually,” he clarifies.

 

It doesn’t make any sense. This job is Delphine’s life. There’s no way she’d just walk away from it. There’s no way Topside would just let her. There must be more to the story. There must be another angle. She’s not sure she’s fully prepared to hear what it is, but she asks anyway.

 

“Why?” she presses. “What’s going on?”

 

She doesn’t mean to sound panicked, but it’s an instinctual response. 

 

“Don’t fret,” he smiles, unnerving her even more. “Doctor Cormier’s been promoted. Topside’s been quite impressed with her work. It seems she’s needed elsewhere.”

 

She’s blinded by a rush of red, a silent fury that explodes inside of her chest, anchor be damned. _Abandoned, yet again._ Discarded. Unnecessary. _Unwanted._ Delphine has outgrown her like a childish habit, has outgrown their innocent days of eskimo kisses and eskimo pies. She has evolved into something more, all while Cosima was wasting away. Where is Delphine now? In some cushy office in Zurich, head of her own department? Pursuing her dream? Pursuing the science? Here she finds herself, trapped in the basement of DYAD, bound to a life of shadows and secrets. Perhaps that’s why she’s so angry; what future does she really have with Shay, with someone so removed from her chaos? Even with her improving health, what kind of future does she have, realistically? It will always come back to DYAD, always to the sisterhood. She tries to swallow her rage and hide her heartbreak. She doesn’t need Doctor Nealon to know just how affected she is by Delphine’s sudden absence. 

 

She’s survived without Delphine just fine. Her numbers prove it. She’s her own person. She always has been.

 

And yet...

 

There’s a part of the doctor that’s seeped so deep inside of her, deeper than the growths or the buds of her tongue that twitch and taste metallic. There’s a part of the doctor that she simply can’t wash away, that’s impervious to lavender baths in Victorian tubs, that’s immune to the gentle scrubbing of patient hands. That’s the part of herself she hates the most and yet, the part she clings to.

 

That night, she’s anything but gentle.

 

Shay writhes beneath her, crying out in ecstasy that borders on pain, dragging her nails down the plains of Cosima’s back as the brunette sinks her teeth into the porcelain skin of her neck. Her usually playful hands are forceful, her teasing fingers punishing. She thrusts into the quirky young healer without any preamble, determined to lose herself in the softness of her skin, the wetness of her desire. It’s been so easy for her to do just that, but the harder she tries to focus on expelling Delphine from her mind, the more she catches a glimpse of her in each strand of blonde hair as she tugs at it, in each flutter of lashes as her fingers curl and reach just the right spot. It doesn’t take long to reduce her lover into a moaning, quivering pile of limbs and she’d normally feel smug and satisfied at the thought, but bitterness is exhausting, scorn is all-consuming.

 

“What’s got you all fired up?” Shay pants, wiping the sweat from her brow as she recovers from the throws of her orgasm. “Not that I’m complaining.”

 

She nips at Cosima’s lobe and the clone smiles, her chest rattling with laughter. 

 

“Sorry,” she apologizes, her eyes landing on the purple constellations that mark the smaller girl’s neck. “Just... more work stuff.”

 

She’s tired of the excuse. She knows that Shay is, as well, but her lover never says anything. She just nods in understanding, pressing soft kisses to the hollow of Cosima’s throat.

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

“Not really.”

 

She doesn’t mean to be closed off, but it’s not as if she can tell Shay what’s really going on inside of her head. Or maybe she can. She’s certain the blonde would listen with open ears and an open heart, but the truth is that she doesn’t want to talk about it, to give weight to these feelings, to breathe them to life with words. They entangle themselves in each other and she absently strokes Shay’s back, her fingers dancing along her spine.

 

“So,” she starts, staring at the ceiling. “I was thinking about before.”

 

Shay’s nearly asleep, her eyes closed and head tucked beneath Cosima’s chin as her breathing evens out, but Cosima’s words bring her back to the world of the waking.

 

“Before?” she mumbles sleepily.

 

“About me moving in with you.”

 

She shifts, lifting her head so she can meet Cosima’s eyes with her own. She blinks away the sleep and smiles sheepishly. Cosima returns her smile with one of her own, brushing a few strands of hair out of Shay’s eyes.

 

“I think... I’d like that,” she whispers.

 

Shay’s smile grows in diameter. She brings her lips to Cosima’s, rewarding her with the softest of kisses.

 

“I’d like that, too.”

 

 


	2. II

“You really bring a whole new dimension to the concept of U-Hauling, you know that?”

 

“Oh, shut up.”

 

She giggles at Felix’s sass, grabbing one of her scarves that’s been hanging over the back of the couch and stuffing it in a bag. She’s in the process of gathering her belongings and packing them up, preparing for her move. They haven’t set a date yet, but she doesn’t have that much stuff to begin with. Most of her belongings are back in Minnesota, sitting in an apartment she’s still paying rent on. As soon as everything’s died down, as soon as she manages to crack Professor Duncan’s code and develop some sort of gene therapy for her and her sisters, as soon as she has a clean bill of health, she’ll have to return to collect it all. 

 

“I will never understand lesbians,” Felix rolls his eyes, venturing over to the bookshelf.

 

“What? You’d prefer if I crashed here indefinitely?” Cosima replies.

 

“God, no. I’ll drive the bloody truck myself, if that’s what you want to hear.”

 

Felix was, unsurprisingly, very supportive of her decision to move in with Shay. He’d initially teased her, pointing out that Shay was originally supposed to be a “scratching post,” but then he’d swallowed his words and decided that the healer was a much better alternative to the doctor.He grabs a stack of books from the shelf and brings them over, setting them down on the coffee table.

 

“Which ones are yours?” he asks.

 

“Mine?”

 

“Well, yeah. We both know they’re not Sarah’s.”

 

Cosima makes her way over to the table to sort through the pile and determine which ones belong to her. She hadn’t brought many with her, but she immediately finds her copy of The Origin of Species amongst the pile, as well as Brave New World and some other books that are mostly related to her all but forgotten school work. She also spots a number of Kira’s books, books she’s read to her niece many times over while they were cooped up in the apartment. There’s Curious George, a few variations of Clifford the Big Red Dog, but she freezes when she sees it buried beneath the others. 

 

A Dog Came, Too. 

 

She lifts it, inspecting the cover closely but refusing to open it, refusing to summon _that_ ghost. Even still, she can hear it howling in her ear, feel the drop in temperature as a chill runs up her spine. 

 

_“The puppy followed the explorer the whole way?”_

 

She drops it back into the pile, collecting those which belong to her and separating them from the rest. Felix watches her closely with a skeptical eye as she continues sifting through the loft in search of her possessions.

 

 

\+ + + + + + + + + +

 

 

As soon as she steps through the elevator and approaches the lab, Scott is already standing in front of the door waiting for her. His arms are folded over his chest, his foot bouncing nervously, perhaps impatiently. Scott’s been a bundle of nerves lately, most likely on edge by being around her and Delphine and all of their “lesbian drama,” as he’d penned it. He has nothing to worry about now though, with _her_ gone. Things can go back to the way they were, the way they should be.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks, making no attempt to veil her skepticism as she side-steps him and swipes her card to open the door.

 

“We need to talk,” he replies, his voice low.

 

He follows Cosima into the lab, watching as she removes her coat to hang it and then does the same with her purse. She’s unmoved by his demand, carrying on as usual, and the thin line of her lab partner’s lips draws downward into an even more pronounced frown.

 

“Cosima,” he calls to her again.

 

She finally stops what she’s doing, turning to face him. Instead of regarding him with the seriousness that he’s aiming for, she arches a brow and smirks.

 

“Scott, are you breaking up with me?” she teases. “Because if that’s the case, I get the lab. You can--”

 

“I’m serious, Cosima!”

 

The loudness of his voice startles her, rattling off the walls and immediately washing away her playful demeanor. She can’t truly recall ever hearing him raise his voice and the severity of the situation comes pouring in. She swallows her joke, nodding in understanding.

 

“Okay. What’s up?” she asks carefully, stepping closer.

 

“I-It’s... it’s Delphine.”

 

The very mention of _her_ name brings her blood to a boil. She clenches her jaw, trying to maintain her best poker face, to give no indication of her crumbling foundations. She’s spent the last couple of days trying to push Delphine as far from her thoughts as possible. She’s moving in with Shay. She’s _moving on_ with Shay. With Delphine’s absence, she can finally make letting go of her a reality.

 

“Scott, we’ve been over this,” she sighs angrily. “I don’t wanna--”

 

“I think something bad’s happened to her.”

 

The snarky comment that was clawing its way upward dies in her throat, her heart stops in her chest. She takes another second to truly look him over, to take note of his furrowed brow, of his lower lip that looks like it’s on the verge of trembling. Scott’s breathing is uneasy, as if he’s panicked or may burst into tears at any given moment.

 

“What do you mean?” she asks quietly, bewildered.

 

She’s not fooling anyone. Scott can see how hard she’s trying to hide her concern, how miserably she’s failing at it. She may not want Delphine in her life, but the thought of the doctor in danger has her on edge.

 

“I heard Doctor Nealon. He was talking about her on the phone with someone,” Scott begins to explain.

 

Cosima steps even closer, like an overeager child, wide-eyed and waiting for the punchline.

 

“What did he say?”

 

Scott takes a deep breath, composing himself.

 

“He said “everything’s fine, Doctor Cormier’s been taken care of.” Those were his exact words.”

 

She shakes her head, her brain unable to process this new flood of information, perhaps unwilling to. The last she knew, Delphine was fine. Delphine was the big boss in charge, living it up somewhere in Europe. _Delphine had abandoned her._ What if Scott is right? What if that’s not the case at all? 

 

“Taken care of? How?” she presses.

 

“I don’t know, that’s just what I heard.”

 

She’s supposed to move in with Shay. They’re supposed to be taking their relationship to the next level and yet, here she is, being pulled back in by Delphine. She’s overwhelmed by the strangest mix of emotions; anger, frustration, concern and despair. She fluctuates between them, shifting from one to another until she finally comes to land of anger.

 

Always anger.

 

So much of it lately.

 

“Delphine’s not my problem anymore,” she huffs.

 

But even as she speaks, her voice wavers, like her voice box doesn’t trust the words she’s speaking. She can tell by the fire in Scott’s eyes that he doesn’t trust her words, either.

 

“Would you cut it out?” he snaps.

 

“We’re not together, Scott!” she shouts. “ _She_ broke up with _me_! _She_ left _me!_ When I was _dying_ , might I add!”

 

“Yeah, but she’s still a person!” Scott argues. “A person who’s done a lot for you, you know! Don’t you care at all?”

 

She turns away from him, her body hunching over as she braces herself on one of the steel tables. Her numbers may be great, but her lungs still falter from time to time, like now. That’s all this is, she convinces herself; her lungs faltering, a hiccup in her recovery.

 

_“Don’t you care at all?”_

 

Scott is speaking, but she’s oblivious to his words as she tries to settle her breathing. She closes her eyes, focusing on the in and out, the ebb and flow of breath.

 

_“Don’t you care at all?”_

 

Her fingers grip the table harder, her knuckles burning white. Why is she supposed to care? She told her that she loved her, only to be met by the cold, crackling static of pleasantries. “ _Scott is going to come and do a checkup.”_ That was the worst part. Delphine had never actually _said_ she didn’t love her back. She never actually acknowledged her feelings, or lack thereof (if that was the case). And then she had the nerve to dive back in with an “ _I miss you.”_ What was she supposed to do? 

 

_“Don’t you care at all?”_ her heart screams. 

 

_“Don’t you care at all?”_ her eyes had begged when she first rested them upon the blonde after her lengthy absence at Topside. But Delphine had been all business, chastising her for “sneaking around” with Scott. Delphine had been calm and collected and she tried her best to match the icy persona, but no matter how much she upturned her chin or tossed a biting remark the doctor’s way, no matter how soft Shay’s lips were and how easy it was for her to lose herself in them, all it took was the simple mention of her former lover’s name to bring her back to that horrible state of unknowing.

 

“ _Don’t you care at all?”_

 

She can’t tell if it’s Scott’s voice echoing in her head. Or Delphine’s. Or Shay’s. Or her own.

 

 

 

\+ + + + + + + + +

 

 

“So, Delphine’s gone missing?” Felix backtracks. “And this is a problem because...?”

 

“I’m serious, Felix.”

 

After her conversation with Scott, she had tried to contact her former monitor. None of her calls made it through, none of her texts or e-mails. Even _if_ Delphine had been promoted, she still liked to think that the European would respond to a simple message or at least acknowledge it. That’s how she knows that Scott’s instincts are right, that something is up. 

 

“So am I,” Felix retorts. “You said you regretted ever having met her, that you wanted her out of your life. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.”

 

He disappears behind the bar in the makeshift kitchen, retrieving a bottle of wine and pouring himself another glass. Cosima expels a frustrated sigh, slipping her fingers beneath her lenses to rub her bleary eyes while Sarah watches her two siblings interact in silence from one of Felix’s chairs.

 

“I didn’t mean-- I said I wanted her out of my life, I didn’t mean I wanted her to get hurt,” Cosima tries to explain.

 

“But you don’t know if she _is_ hurt,” Felix counters, walking back around the counter to rejoin Cosima on the couch, perching atop the arm of it. “What if it’s like you said? What if she got some big, cushy promotion and is busting some middle-aged man’s balls in a power suit from Zurich as we speak?”

 

She shakes her head.

 

“Scott overhead Doctor Nealon on the phone. He said that Delphine’s been “taken care of.” Does that sound good to you?”

 

“No. Not really,” Felix concedes, shrugging.

 

He takes a sip of his wine and Sarah leans forward in her chair, finally joining the conversation.

 

“Okay. So, Delphine’s gone and you wanna find her?” she summarizes.

 

“Well, yeah. I just wanna make sure she’s okay,” Cosima nods.

 

“How?”

 

“What?”

 

“How are you gonna find her?” Sarah asks.

 

“I... haven’t gotten that far yet,” the dreadlocked clone admits. “That’s why I came here. I figured we could come up with something.”

 

Her gaze shifts back and forth between Sarah and Felix, waiting for one of them to come to her rescue with a brilliant idea.

 

“You’re the genius, Cos,” Sarah replies, almost in a breath of laughter. “You’re the one who’s supposed to have all the ideas.”

 

“And _you’re_ the one who escaped from DYAD and the military. _You’re_ the one with all the instincts,” she counters. “And if _mine_ are right, we’re gonna need yours.”

 

“Can I just say, this is a terrible idea,” Felix chimes in. “We’re finally done with the bloody military and DYAD’s not trying to cut my sister’s ovaries out of her. Shouldn’t we count our blessings, children? Why cause even more trouble?”

 

“Because I have to know where she is, Felix,” Cosima says, making no attempt to hide her growing anger.

 

“Why? What difference will it make?” Felix throws. “You gonna go running back to her? Do you really think that anything’s changed?”

 

“I didn’t say that--”

 

“You have a girlfriend now, remember?”

 

“Would you just stop? I know that!”

 

Both Sarah and Felix are taken aback by Cosima’s newly displayed aggression. Felix looks hurt, even offended, but he doesn’t bother replying. He just frowns and sulks into his wine while Cosima unloads.

 

“I don’t know what I expect to find, okay? I just know that she’s out there and she probably needs me-- _us--_ she probably needs _us,_ so we should do something about it!”

 

“Why? Because she’s done so much for you?” Felix laughs at what he perceives as the clone’s naiveté. “Let’s see... hmm... she lied to your face about who she was, spy-banged you to steal information, gave your blood samples to DYAD when you told her not to, used Kira’s stem cells to treat you and then tried to cover it up... oh, and she’s also partially responsible for the abduction of your niece. Let me just add “broke you bloody heart” to the list, too. Can’t forget that one. How could we?”

 

As he lists off Delphine’s offenses, Cosima feels the anger begin to bubble inside of her all over again. Felix slips off the couch, stopping directly in front of Cosima. He crouches down so that they’re eye-level, trying to appeal to her.

 

“She doesn’t deserve your sympathy, darling. She doesn’t deserve _any_ of ours.”

 

“She also saved our lives.”

 

Sarah’s randomly-placed comment captures both of their attentions and they turn to acknowledge the stoic-faced punk.

 

“Topside was ready to terminate us all. They sent someone to do it,” Sarah explains.

 

“Ferdinand,” Felix remarks, recalling the memories of his hand in Sarah’s most recent clone-swap, one that Delphine had orchestrated. 

 

“Ferdinand?” Cosima repeats, confused.

 

“A cleaner,” Sarah clarifies. “He conspired with Rachel. He was gonna wipe us all out so she could take Kira. Delphine stopped it from happening.”

 

The only thing Sarah had mentioned before was that a “crisis had been averted.” Cosima hadn’t thought to press any further, sensing her sister’s exhaustion. Delphine had told her that she was trying to protect Leda from within Topside, but she always thought it was bullshit, that the doctor was really trying to cover her own ass and make excuses for abandoning her. 

 

“Look, I know she’s still all shady and shit,” Sarah adds. “But... I think she _is_ trying to help us, in her own way.”

 

Neither Felix or Cosima are expecting such a response from the clone. Cosima’s head drops as she silently considers her sister’s words. Felix’s reaction is more abrasive. He expels a burst of bemused laughter.

 

“I can’t believe this,” he shakes his head, stalking over to the door. “Now you’ve both gone and drunk the Kool-Aid.”

 

“I said she was trying to help us. I never said she was doing a good job of it, yeah?”

 

Felix slips his coat on and removes the screwdriver from the latch, glaring at both Sarah and Cosima.

 

“Let me know when you both feel like rejoining the land of the sane. I’ll be at Bobby’s.”

 

The door slides shut with a heavy clunk and they both simultaneously sigh, only to catch each other’s eye and laugh at the gesture. Sarah stands, abandoning the chair and sitting down next to Cosima on the couch.

 

“I didn’t expect you to be on board with this,” Cosima mumbles. “I thought you’d try to talk me out of it.”

 

Sarah shrugs, leaning back on the couch.

 

“I dunno,” she sighs. “It’s just...”

 

Cosima glances over. She can tell Sarah is struggling with a thought. She places a comforting hand on Sarah’s knee and her sister glances down at it.

 

“We do terrible things for the people we love,” Sarah finally confesses, finding Cosima’s gaze with a certain, blaring intensity. “But does that really make us bad people?”

 

Sarah’s words resonate with her. She mulls over them carefully, thinking of Delphine. She knew from the moment she first saw her, from the second they shook hands in that hallway and exchanged French greetings; she knew there was no way that something sinister could possibly lurk behind such a sweet smile. That’s what made hating Delphine so hard; it wasn’t because she refused to acknowledge that her initial instincts were wrong, but because she knew they were _so right_.

 

And yet, here she is.

 

  _Alone._

 

Sarah places her hand atop Cosima’s, squeezing it for a brief moment before she’s on her feet again, disappearing to grab herself a beer from the fridge.

 

“Sarah Manning, are you having a moment of insight?” Cosima teases.

 

“Ah, shut it, will you?”

 

They both giggle. Sarah leans back against the fridge, periodically sipping her beer as she watches the scientist’s internal gears begin to shift and turn. She can see Cosima’s conflict written plainly on her face and she knows that Delphine is the cause of it. 

 

“I never loved Paul.”

 

Cosima looks up, shocked by the sudden confession. She’s well aware of Paul’s demise, but Sarah hasn’t said a word about it since she’s been back. She doesn’t know what has spurred Sarah into speaking about him now, but she’s astute enough to know that whatever the punk has to say, it must be important. Words don’t come so easily to the Brit and neither does vulnerability.

 

“I always thought he was a snake in the grass,” she elaborates. “But... I know that he loved me. That was the last thing he said.”

 

“Sarah...”

 

“Snake or not, if I had the chance to help him, if I could have changed things... I would have. I would have gone back for him.”

 

“But you didn’t love him.” 

 

“No. I didn’t,” Sarah says knowingly, returning to sipping her beer.

 

Suddenly, she realizes what Sarah is trying to say.

 

_But you do._

 

She doesn’t have to say it. That would be too much. She can sit here and spout off to Felix about how toxic Delphine is, about how glad she is to be rid of her, but Sarah sees through it. Sarah always has. She knew it, even in the very beginning before Cosima knew it herself. She knew how much of a threat the doctor was, how hard Cosima had fallen for her. She never liked it, but she still knew.

 

Cosima finds her gaze again with dewy eyes.

 

She nods.

 


	3. III

“You okay?”

 

She’s been so lost in thought, eyes aimlessly scanning the ceiling, that she didn’t even notice Shay put her book down on the bedside table and glance over at her, her large, expressive eyes swimming with concern.

 

“Mmhm.”

 

It’s a lie. Not even a good one. Shay slinks down a little lower into the bed until they’re on the same level, her hand caressing the side of Cosima’s face. She gently tilts Cosima’s head until the two of them are facing each other, meeting each other’s eyes.

 

“We’ve established that I can see into your soul, remember?” Shay smiles.

 

Cosima returns her smile and adds a quiet chuckle, toying with a piece of straight, blonde hair. Delphine’s was always curly. Well, curly until she couldn’t touch it anymore. _Curly until she decided that she didn’t need Cosima._

 

She frowns, pulling her hand away.

 

“It’s just... work stuff,” Cosima sighs, trying to settle on the right word.

 

She can’t exactly say “Delphine is missing and I think she’s in danger.” Not without having to explain _why_ Delphine is in danger, at least, and that would mean exposing herself. It isn’t that she’s afraid of how Shay might react to the truth, but she knows that sharing the secret of her origins would mean endangering her girlfriend and she doesn’t think she can live with that kind of guilt. Even still, Shay’s gaze remains persistent and penetrating, waiting for Cosima to come clean.

 

“It’s… it’s Delphine.”

 

Shay’s smile falters, her lips transforming into a straight, unreadable line. She nods slowly, accepting Cosima’s response and attempting to process it, to determine what’s appropriate to say given their situation.

 

“Is something wrong?” Shay inquires.

 

Cosima shakes her head, then brings a hand to her forehead as she releases another exacerbated sigh. 

 

“Delphine is... well… she needs my help.”

 

“With what?”

 

Shay continues to stare at her expectantly, waiting for some kind of response. Only Cosima doesn’t have one to give. She isn’t even sure, exactly, how Delphine needs her help. There’s so much she’s unsure of, this entire situation is one giant, grey, murky field. 

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

She watches as Shay very subtly deflates. The blonde has been patient with her, asking without prying, coaxing without forcing, and at every turn she’s met by disappointment. The clone wishes she could share more, wishes she could share the _truth_ , but they’re not there yet. Maybe they will be someday, but for now, no matter how painful it is to see the shorter girl’s eyes flood with disappointment, it’s much less painful than the danger and complications surrounding the truth.

 

“I’m sorry,” Cosima apologizes, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of Shay’s mouth.

 

Shay leans over to flick the lamp off and the apartment becomes dark, save from the muted streetlight that filters through the windows. They snuggle into their usual position, with Shay’s body curled in towards Cosima. The brunette tries to will away her anxiety, to succumb to slumber, but even in her state of exhaustion, she has trouble. 

 

“You should help her.”

 

Shay’s confession pierces the silence and Cosima sits up, perplexed.

 

“Seriously?”

 

Shay sighs, mimicking Cosima and sitting up, as well. She places a hand on Cosima’s thigh and rubs gentle, soothing circles along the flesh.

 

“Well, if you have the power to help someone, you should,” she explains. “That’s what any good person would do and you’re a good person, Cosima.”

 

Cosima smiles widely, honestly. Shay always has such a simple way of explaining her complexities. She makes her feel like less of a chaotic force of nature and more like just a normal human being. It was never like that with Delphine. Shay is deep, easy breaths in a wide open meadow. But Delphine? Delphine is that large gulp of air— the one you take when the world has held your head under water for so long and you finally break free of its grip— that desperate one that stretches and fills your lungs to the point where they feel like they’re on the verge of exploding. 

 

_That’s Delphine._

 

 

\+ + + + + + + + + +

 

 

The idea came to her in bed shortly after Shay had fallen asleep and she was still unable to do so herself. She knew that she needed to help Delphine, but she had absolutely no idea how to go about it. Even with Sarah’s support, they were essentially flying blind. There were too many unknown variables to take any sort of decisive action. If Delphine was missing, then it was most likely Topside who was responsible and Topside was a monster she had virtually no experience in dealing with. In fact, there was only one other person she knew that might be of any sort of help, and so she finds herself hesitantly traveling down the long, white corridor toward her destination.

 

As soon as she opens the door, she’s frozen in place. Sure, she’s aware of her sister’s condition, has been briefed by Scott, but there’s something about seeing Rachel Duncan wheelchair bound that rattles her. Rachel— the “uber bitch,” as Sarah had dubbed her— is the pinnacle of posh and polished, cruel and cutthroat. Seeing the blonde looking so pathetically vulnerable as she spins her chair to face her clashes violently with the image of her adversary that she’s stored in her memory.

 

“Uh. Hey, Rachel,” she mutters, greeting her counterpart with a sense of uneasiness.

 

Rachel takes a moment to regard the brunette in careful silence. When Cosima closes the door behind her and steps deeper into the room, she sees what she registers as fear settle into her sister’s remaining eye. 

 

“I’m not gonna hurt you or anything,” Cosima clarifies, holding up her hands to signal her benevolence.

 

As Cosima slowly approaches, Rachel wheels herself as close to the most distant wall as possible, desperate to put more space between them. She’s unable to meet Cosima’s gaze and despite all of the atrocities that she’s committed, Cosima finds herself feeling pity. 

 

“W-W-Why... should... I b-believe you?” Rachel asks.

 

Her words are jagged and uncertain. Once again, even with Scott’s fair warning about Rachel’s aphasia, she’s still unprepared to face the broken woman before her. Her expression softens, as does her voice.

 

“Because why would I hurt you?”

 

She stops in the middle of the room, allowing Rachel the small illusion of space that she’s so desperate for. If she’s going to convince Rachel to help her, she needs to make herself appear as non-threatening as possible.

 

“You... h-h-hate... me,” Rachel spits, as if the answer is too obvious.

 

Cosima smiles slightly. The blonde is right, she _does_ carry a pretty severe hatred for her, but it’s also not the dreadlocked clone’s style to attack a vulnerable, disabled woman. She can almost hear Sarah’s voice in her head chastising her. _“She’s a bad guy, Cos. Don’t do her any favours. She’d gut you in a second without blinking an eye if she had the chance.”_ Even still, she thinks a gentler, more diplomatic approach will wield the best results.

 

“You’re a bitch,” Cosima agrees. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna, like, torture you.”

 

Rachel finally raises her head, slowly emerging from her cavern of fear. Her eye rakes over Cosima, trying to determine if her words are valid. She decides to trust the scientist, offering her a curt nod as she wheels herself out of the corner.

 

“You’re... k-kinder... than... y-y-your... g-g-girlfriend.”

 

Cosima’s brow furrows.

 

“Delphine?”

 

What does Rachel know about Delphine? Is her suspicion correct? Does Rachel really know what’s happened to Delphine? Upon closer inspection, she realizes that the very mention of the new DYAD director’s name sends a whole new wave of fear through Rachel.

 

“Did… did Delphine hurt you?”

 

Rachel’s head drops in shame again.

 

“Helsinki,” she mutters with surprising clarity.

 

Cosima approaches, sitting on the edge of Rachel’s bed. She says nothing and allows Rachel the opportunity to elaborate.

 

“She... w-wanted to... know,” Rachel tries to explain.

 

Sarah had mentioned Helsinki before. Rachel had plotted to have them all eliminated, but Delphine had put a stop to it. Sarah never explained how Delphine knew about Rachel’s plan, but she’s able to piece it all together fairly quickly and she feels her stomach churn.

 

“Didn’t think... s-she... had it... i-in her,” Rachel adds, an almost-smile creeping onto her face.

 

Cosima frowns, taking only a moment to dwell on the revelation before she shakes it off and heads straight into business.

 

“I’m here because I need your help,” she tells Rachel.

 

Rachel’s head peaks in curiosity.

 

“You need... m-my help?”

 

Cosima nods, taking a deep breath before jumping into her explanation.

 

“Delphine’s gone missing,” she begins. “Topside’s made her disappear or some shit. I need you to help me find her.”

 

Rachel seems almost amused.

 

“W-W-What makes you... think... I-I... know a-anything?”

 

“Cause you were Topside’s favourite pet?” Cosima shrugs. “Cause you know how they work? Cause you might know where they’d keep her?”

 

Rachel smirks, her characteristic smugness returning to her.

 

“Sorry. W-What makes you... think... I-I’d help?” she clarifies.

 

Cosima’s expression grows more serious, more stern. She stands from the bed again and gazes down at Rachel intensely. Rachel immediately perceives this shift as a threat and her smugness vanishes as quickly as it appeared.

 

“Because I’m giving you a chance to do the right thing,” Cosima says, her voice low and steady.

 

Rachel sizes her up again, trying to determine whether or not Cosima actually _is_ a threat. If she were going to strike, now would be a perfect opportunity. But no strike comes. Cosima continues to stare down at her like a disapproving mother who’s uncertain of how to properly scold her child. As soon as she realizes that Cosima is not only a non-threat, but wields virtually no dominance whatsoever, Rachel turns her back on her sister. Someone like Cosima doesn’t appreciate or understand the art that goes into an interrogation and even though she’s now bound to a chair, Rachel has perfected it. She knows how to speak, what to say, how to present herself and her proposition in a way that very few would be able to turn down. It’s all about seeing weakness in people and being able to exploit it. She’s always understood this. It’s what’s gotten her so far ahead and as smart as Cosima may be, the warm and almost painfully naive counterpart before her is unable to realize this. Cosima continues to wait patiently for Rachel to respond, not realizing that her terrible negotiating skills have already cost her the battle. _Never play all of your cards on your very first hand. The second you do, not only do you lose all of your power, but you actively hand it over to your enemy_. And now, the blonde finds herself with a pretty useful piece of leverage. She smiles to herself again, pleased.

 

“You know, did it ever cross your mind that you’re sitting in that chair because of all the wrong decisions you’ve made? All the bad ones?” Cosima tries, her frown more pronounced. “You had plenty of chances to do the right thing and you always chose wrong. And now you’re trapped in this room while the rest of us are out there.”

 

She turns back around to see Cosima glaring at her, a snake with no venom. Perhaps that isn’t entirely true, though, because the Brit finds herself nearly choking on her sister’s preachiness, her blood beginning to congeal and turn toxic as Cosima spews her self-righteous words. She returns the brunette’s glare with a very potent one of her own.

 

“ _Y-Y-You_ did this. _Y-You_ and... _Sarah_.”

 

Sarah had been the one to shoot the pencil into her eye, but she’s not an idiot. She knows _exactly_ how the weapon got into the operating room in the first place. Cosima had orchestrated Sarah’s escape, a plan that ultimately proved to be unnecessary when Marion Bowles intervened and freed Sarah herself, _when Marion Bowles had undermined her completely_. Cosima had orchestrated an entirely unnecessary plan that had resulted in her maiming and permanent disability, with absolutely no consequences. It almost seemed like a ridiculous joke with her as the punchline.

 

“Yeah, well, karma’s a bitch and so are you,” Cosima throws back. “You two are perfect for each other.”

 

Rachel’s hands ball into tight, white fists that quiver with a quiet rage.

 

“I-I’m not... going to... to... help you i-if you’re... m-mean--”

 

“If I’m mean to you? So, you can dish it out but you can’t take it?” Cosima spits, growing more aggressive by the second. “Let’s be honest, Rachel. You’re not gonna help me anyway and not because I’m being mean to you, but because your a vindictive bitch.”

 

Their eyes lock in a spiteful, smouldering stare that sets the air around them aflame. Even provoked, Cosima can’t quite bring herself to lash out and strike with anything other than her cutting words. It goes against her very nature, which makes her wonder how her and Rachel can be even remotely related, let alone made from the same source material. She wants to turn around and head straight for the door, to leave Rachel in this room to rot alone and not give her the satisfaction of provoking her, but Delphine anchors her. Somewhere out there, Delphine is in danger and she’s the only one who cares enough to help. She can’t walk away, not without knowing that she did everything she could.

 

“If you’re not gonna help me out of the goodness of your heart, then maybe there’s... I don’t know... something that you want?” Cosima tries.

 

“A-A... a deal?”

 

She’s fully captured Rachel’s interest this time.

 

“Yeah. Whatever. A deal,” she shrugs. “I’ll help you if you help me.”

 

She watches Rachel carefully, waiting to see if she’ll take the bait. What she witnesses is the most extraordinary thing; Rachel’s walls quickly begin to crack and crumble, piece by piece sliding off of her like snakeskin until her nerves are left, raw and exposed. Her lower lip trembles, her eye fills with tears. 

 

_“G-G-Get me... out of this p-place.”_

 

Cosima’s own anger quickly subsides at the sound of Rachel’s trembling voice.

 

“You’ll help me find Delphine if I get you out of here?” she rephrases.

 

“Y-Yes,” Rachel nods, wheeling closer. “P-P-Please.”

 

She watches Rachel a little more closely, trying to determine if she’s being played, if this is yet another ploy for power. There’s a sincere desperation in her counterpart’s voice, in her cracking foundation, one that even the best actor couldn’t fake. She may end up regretting her decision later, but for now, she swallows the anger and lifetime of differences that exist between them.

 

“Okay.”

 

She’s finally able to pull herself away and head back to the door. As soon as she reaches for the handle, however, Rachel’s voice rings out.

 

“W-W-Where are you... g-going?” she asks, panicked.

 

“Well, I can’t just walk out the front door with you,” Cosima replies, stopping to explain herself. “We need a plan. I need to think of a way to get you out of here. Once I do, I’ll be back.”

 

Rachel nods in slow agreement.

 

It’s very quiet, barely above a whisper, but as Cosima steps through the door, she swears she can hear the tiniest sliver of gratitude.

 

“T-Thank you.”

 


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author’s Notes:** It’s baaaaack! Since Train Under Water is pretty much complete (the remaining chapters are written for the most part, just waiting until I have the emotional capacity to go through and edit them :P), I’m gonna start updating my other fics. That includes this one as well as Staring at the Sun, and another multi-chapter fic that I’ve been working on and will post shortly. As always, thanks for the continued support. Hope you’re all still interested in reading as I attempt to fix season three. Enjoy! :)

“No. No. _Absolutely not.”_

 

“Felix, _come on!”_

 

He shakes his head enthusiastically, turning his back on the dreadlocked clone as he walks deeper into the apartment, waving his hands around to further emphasize his contempt for her proposition and his firm stance on the subject. She trails behind him, desperate to appeal to any part of him that might have sympathy for their new guest and her situation.

 

“I’m not doing this,” he snaps, whipping back around to face her again.

 

She stops dead in her tracks, expelling a frustrated sigh in the face of his stubbornness.

 

“I made a deal, okay?” she tries to explain. “I told her that I’d get her out of DYAD if she’d help me find Delphine.”

 

“And what part of her shacking up with me is featured in this deal?”

 

Truth be told, Felix’s loft is the only place she could think to bring the most twisted and fragile of her sisters. She can’t exactly bring the former DYAD pet back to Shay’s place without raising a few questions and endangering her girlfriend. Aside from Alison— who’s definitely out of the question— Sarah and Felix are the only people she knows in Toronto, the only ones she can turn to. She meets Felix’s heated gaze with a pleading one of her own, but the slender boy is immune, most likely due to years of combating a similar expression on his own sister’s face. All she knows is that they’re running out of time; someone at DYAD is bound to notice that Rachel is missing and with her and Scott waiting downstairs, completely out in the open, she knows that if she doesn’t convince her friend to concede, she’ll lose her only chance at learning the truth about Delphine.

 

“Well, I don’t know where else to bring her. Do you have any ideas?” she throws.

 

“Anywhere else!” Felix retorts, tugging the tie of his robe a little tighter as he stalks into the kitchen, trying to put more distance between them. “Try the North Pole. Or the seventh layer of hell. She’d be right at home there.”

 

She follows him again, more slowly this time. They’re divided by the counter and she sighs, leaning against it as she watches him fill his kettle up with water.

 

“It’s just for a little bit, okay? I promise,” she tries, her voice softer. “We just have to figure out how to get her out of the country and away from DYAD. I figured Mrs. S could help with that, actually.”

 

He slams the kettle down forcefully, causing the petite brunette to jump in surprise. When he turns back around to face her, he offers her a piercing glare that seems out of place on his usually soft face. 

 

“Cosima, this is mad!” he exclaims. “Do you realize what you’re doing? Rachel Duncan is a psychopath who doesn’t deserve your help _or_ your sympathy! Where the hell is Sarah when you need her? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but _she’d_ stand on the side of reason with this one.”

 

Cosima rounds the counter’s edge, stepping in closer in a bid to penetrate the layer of ice Felix has erected. She reaches for the younger boy’s hand but he quickly dips out of her grasp, out of range of her charm. 

 

“Sarah told me she’d do whatever she could to help me find Delphine,” Cosima tells him. “ _This_ is what we have to do.”

 

His nostrils flare, he closes his eyes and keeps them clamped shut as he tries to steady his breathing and make sense of the crazy situation he’s currently found himself in. Sensing that his will is slowly weakening, Cosima pushes even further, determined to convince him.

 

“You, like, don’t even have to talk to her or anything. You can totally ignore her if you want. I’ll take care of everything, okay?” she quickly adds. “She just needs a place to hide out for a couple of days.”

 

When he opens his eyes again, she’s sporting the best puppy dog face she can muster, slowly inching even closer to him. He gives her a quick once over before sighing angrily and stalking away from her, once again.

 

“Fine!” he barks, digging through his makeshift wardrobe for something more appropriate to wear. “But _you’re_ dealing with her.”

 

A megawatt smile explodes across her face and she nearly jumps for joy, restraining her urge to rush over and hug him. Somehow, she thinks it wouldn’t go over so well considering the Brit’s foul mood. As he tugs a pair of pants on and buttons them up, she finds the courage to ask one more favour of him.

 

“There’s just one more thing…”

 

“Bloody hell,” he rolls his eyes, finding a shirt. “What do you need now?”

 

She chuckles nervously, pushing her glasses higher up on the bridge of her nose.

 

“Can you help us get her up the stairs?”

 

It occurs to her that Scott and Felix aren’t the two most suitable candidates when it comes to heavy lifting, but Scott manages to carry Rachel up the stairs on his own before heading back down to carry Rachel’s wheelchair. As the two men struggle with the device, the scientist merely offers them a sympathetic look and words of encouragement, trying not to laugh as Scott nearly fumbles and sends them both crashing down the stairs. When they do finally make it back into Felix’s loft, the flamboyant young man makes no attempt to hide his frustration with her.

 

“There we go. We’re all set now,” Cosima chimes enthusiastically.

 

She pushes the wheelchair over towards the couch that Rachel is sitting on, in case she might want to climb back into it. Instead the blonde’s eyes scan her surroundings with judgment and contempt, every little detail of Felix’s life seemingly offending her in some way. Her eyes fall onto a picture of Felix and Sarah and a quiet rage bubbles inside of her.

 

“No,” she simply states. “I-I’m not… s-s-staying _here_.”

 

Felix scoffs loudly while Scott shuffles around nervously in the kitchen and Cosima releases a defeated sigh.

 

“See that? She doesn’t want to stay anyway. Send her back,” Felix nudges Cosima.

 

She steps forward until she’s standing directly in front of Rachel. The blonde averts her gaze from Cosima, but when the cheeky young woman crouches down in front of her, she inevitably ends up reclaiming her attention.

 

“Hey. You don’t have anywhere else to go, remember?” she speaks, looking up into Rachel’s eye. “We’re the best you’ve got. Don’t forget that.”

 

She breaks Cosima’s gaze once again and turns up her nose, scowl firmly in place, unwilling to cooperate.

 

“I r-refuse.”

 

Cosima’s eyes narrow, her patience nearly worn. She decides that she needs to call her sister’s bluff, so she stands tall again and shrugs.

 

“Fine. Back to DYAD, then,” she remarks, gesturing for Scott to join them. “Help us get her back down the stairs.”

 

His eyes dart around the room, looking for some sort of guidance. They land upon Cosima who stares back at him expectantly, then an aloof Felix, followed by a seething Rachel, only to return to the dreadlocked clone. With no one budging an inch, he interprets Cosima’s words as truth.

 

“O-Okay. Sure.”

 

He stalks over, halting right in front of Rachel. He’ll have to pick her up to bring her down the stairs again but she looks as though she’ll lash out if he makes a single move towards her. He turns back to Cosima for permission and she nods her head in approval. Swallowing loudly, he reaches out and attempts to scoop the scowling woman up in his arms.

 

“Wait! S-Stop!”

 

Scott halts, looking to Cosima for direction. Despite her scowl, it’s easy to see the fear and desperation hidden beneath Rachel’s icy exterior. The scientist nods, giving Scott permission to abandon his task and step away.

 

“Look, this isn’t a permanent thing,” she sighs, trying her best to level with Rachel. “We’re gonna help you get out of the country, but we need some more time with that. In the meantime, you’re gonna have to work with us.”

 

Rachel frowns, her nostrils flaring as she expels a puff of breath through them. Her eyes narrow and she regards Cosima with a mix of anger and annoyance, frustrated by her current situation. She knows the young scientist is right, that her sisters are her only option right now. That very fact is enough to humiliate her.

 

“T-Tea,” she mumbles, extending a olive branch. “Please.”

 

Cosima smiles, gesturing for Felix to pour their guest a cup. With a scoff accompanied by a heavy eye roll, he complies. He brings two cups and saucers all the way over to the couch, setting them down in front of Rachel with a frown of his own.

 

“Thank you,” she quietly expresses her gratitude.

 

“Okay. Now that we’ve worked it all out, let’s start talking,” 

 

Cosima takes a seat next to Rachel on the couch and attempts to help her counterpart lift the teacup to her lips, only to be shrugged off. Rachel takes a struggled sip before placing the cup back down and staring directly into Cosima’s eyes, her intent purely business.

 

“If Delphine is s-still a-alive, Topside has her.”

 

Cosima nods.

 

“Yeah. I figured as much,” she mumbles, reaching for her own cup and staring down at her murky reflection in the tea. “Do you think she’s still alive?”

 

Rachel shrugs, clearly uninvested in the answer.

 

“I-If they t-think she’s v-v-valuable to them, then y-yes.”

 

“Okay. Why would she be valuable to them? Why would they need her?” Cosima presses.

 

Rachel diverts her gaze, as if she’s bored by the conversation. Cosima leans in closer, hanging on the edge as she waits for the blonde to answer.

 

“I-I don’t know.”

 

Cosima frowns.

 

“You said you’d help,” she reminds the former DYAD golden girl.

 

“I-I’m trying,” Rachel nearly growls.

 

“Well, think,” Cosima pushes a little harder, trying to keep a firm grip on her patience. “You called the shots at DYAD. You know how they work, you had access to information. I hate to admit it, but you probably know more about Delphine than I do.”

 

She refuses to believe that Rachel is ignorant. Even if she no longer possesses the same power she once had, her former time spent as a DYAD executive and her experience with Topside must be worth something. Even if she isn’t directly responsible for Delphine’s disappearance, she has to know _something_ about it. She has to know about protocols, about who’s calling the shots. All she needs is a name or a direction to be pointed in; once she knows where to look, she knows their ragtag team of clones and clone-sympathizers will be able to find the answer.

 

“I-It’s possible…” Rachel begins, her brow furrowing as she loses herself in thought.

 

“What’s possible?” Cosima asks, perking up.

 

“There were… r-rumours. Unsub-s-stantiated.”

 

“What rumours?”

 

Rachel’s words give her hope, though she can tell by the clone’s expression that Rachel is far less than hopeful. Her expression borders on frightened and concerned and Cosima wonders what it is that has the proclone tiptoeing so carefully.

 

“Rumours about a… _a mole_.”

 

Cosima flashes her an incredulous look.

 

“A mole?”

 

“S-Someone leaking secrets. Valuable intel. Someone from w-within,” Rachel elaborates, taking her time to reach for her cup again and carefully bring it to her lips to gently blow some steam away before taking a sip.

 

“Leaking secrets?” Cosima reiterates. “What kind of secrets? Project Leda?”

 

On one hand, it makes sense. Something like Project Leda is undoubtedly valuable data. It isn’t hard to believe that there are many people and organizations who would love to get their hands on it, to learn the secrets of human cloning and reap the benefits of all of DYAD’s research. Government, military, corporate— the list is endless. However, the thing she has the hardest time wrapping her mind around is Delphine’s involvement. Delphine, a spy? She knows firsthand how terrible the woman is at spying. As shady as she can be, she can’t imagine Delphine working as some sort of double agent. Who would she be working for? And why? Delphine always said she loved the science, that that was the main reason why she’d gotten involved in DYAD and Leda. Cosima never doubted it. It was very easy to see Delphine’s passion for science and accept it as truth. Was there really something more going on?

 

“I don’t understand. You think Delphine is the mole?”

 

“I-I don’t know,” Rachel admits. “All I k-know was that Topside was a-aware of the leak before my… _s-situation._ It’s p-possible that they’ve acquired the e-evidence they n-n-needed.”

 

“Then why not just kill her?” Scott chimes in, walking around from behind the couch to abruptly join their conversation, dodging the daggers both women are shooting at him with their eyes. “Sorry to be morbid, but if Delphine’s the one who’s been leaking all of this information, then why not just eliminate her? Wouldn’t that make more sense?”

 

“D-Damage control,” Rachel answers plainly, taking another sip of tea.

 

When she’s finished, she hands it to Scott to set it back down, refusing to strain herself any further.

 

“It’s h-hard to know how much d-data was c-compromised.”

 

“They’d need to interrogate her. Find out what she knows, who she’s told, who she’s working for if they don’t already know. That’s why she’s still valuable to them,” Cosima says, quickly piecing it all together and filling in the blanks.

 

Rachel nods in agreement.

 

“Whoa. You really think Delphine’s a mole?” Scott asks.

 

Cosima shakes her head, throwing her hands up in the air.

 

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “I mean, it sort of makes sense, right? But then… I don’t know. I don’t know. _Shit.”_

 

“Whether she is or isn’t, we know a few people who can look into that sort of thing,” Felix interjects.

 

“We do?” Scott and Cosima ask in unison.

 

“God, I thought you’re both supposed to be the smart ones?” he jabs. “S is really good at digging into all this shady shit. She’s got people. And don’t forget about our gorgeous lumberjack.”

 

“That’s right,” Cosima remembers. “Cal’s good at this sort of stuff. Sarah said he’s like a wizard with a computer.”

 

“He found Castor. And he managed to dig up a bunch of dirt of DYAD and Topside,” Felix agrees. “We could pass this along to him, see if any of it matches up, see if he can help us make sense of things.”

 

Cosima nods.

 

“Good. That’s good.”

 

“Alright then. I’ll make the call.”

 

Felix buzzes off again and Scott nervously tends to Rachel while Cosima excuses herself to the bathroom. She hunches over the sink and stares into the mirror with weary eyes, her reflection staring back at her. While she’s regained most of her colour, she’s still very much aware of the paleness, of the sickness which still linger in her cells. She turns the faucet on and splashes some cold water on her face. 

 

Could Delphine really be a spy?

 

She doesn’t know if this revelation is good news or bad news. To her, DYAD and Topside were always the bad guys, so if Delphine is really working against them, does that make her an ally? What if whoever she’s aligned with is more malevolent than their creators? Are her and her sisters just some pawns in a twisted, elaborate game of chess? 

 

If that’s the case, then which piece is Delphine?

 


End file.
